He stumbled into her life almost by accident, in the bizarre realm known as cyberspace. A tentative knock with a brief hello, feeling almost like a smile of welcome and reassurance. She was a writer and words could create a physical feeling in her. His gentle unobtrusive entrance into her life was a change from the bombardment of harassment and innuendoes she quite often received from the faceless, nameless men on line. Her style of writing that she like to refer to as romance pushed the barriers of propriety with its graphic descriptions that regularly brought her unwanted attention by the baser males of the species. His approach was different and his way with words drew her attention by revealing an intelligence that was the first thing she had always looked for when attracted to a man. This she thought was definitely a man she could fall for.

They talked for months, sometimes for hours at a time, each conversation giving her a clearer view of the real man. Pictures were exchanged and she found herself drawn to the depth revealed in his eyes. One particular photo showed him sitting behind a desk with a somewhat solemn look on his face. Yet it's always been said that the eyes were widows to the soul and his eyes captivated her in the most mesmerizing manner. There was a lightheartedness about him that gave her comfort and confirmed that his sense of humor was equal to her own. More and more she found things about him that were compatible with her own personality. Then he cast the bait that was sure to reel her in. He revealed his innermost self to her, or so that was the illusion he gave. He sent her a letter that gave a brief description of his life. A history of sorts, that told of where he came from and how he got to be where he is now. He even told of the mistakes he had made and the lessons he had learned from them. This opening up to her was a sign of trust that she was both pleased and honoured by.

Her life had been a difficult one so trust did not come easy to her. It took a very long time and many conversations before she was able to open herself enough to give her trust to this man. Being born a Leo, it was a natural trait for her to be reserve, but when she decided to give of herself she always did so in a grandiose way. She bared her soul in words. Sitting at her keyboard one night, she opened her heart and let the words pour forth. Like slicing open a vein and bleeding onto paper her story came pouring out. She told of her abusive childhood, her journey into adulthood, and her development from victim to survivor. She even opened up and revealed her hopes and dreams for the future, exposing herself to a man in a way she had not done in over twenty years. When the time came to send it too him, she could not recall ever having been so terrified in her entire life. His reaction and understanding was the most amazing revelation to her. He soothed her fears and comforted her in a way that felt as if someone had taken a weight off her shoulders, making her entire countenance lighter.

Then hand in hand they ventured into fantasy. Sharing sexual needs and wants that only two people who think on the same wave length can. Her most pleasant surprise was to find out he was a better writer of fantasy than she was. He had an ability to create a visual scene out of words that could leave her shaking with need. He spoke of a cottage in such a vivid fashion that she knew that was where he intended to make love to her one day. He would write short fantasies to her that would send her spinning into a sensual haze of need and hunger. His ability to write of feelings in a way that she could see, feel and almost touch was nothing short of amazing to her. Before she even realized what was happening, her heart was involved and her love was there begging for him to share his with her.

By this time the picture of him in her mind was so complete her fantasies were taking on a surreal quality. She could lay back and close her eyes and he would come to her. Taking her to an exotic place where passion overwhelmed the senses. Run his hands up her neck into her hair, tilting her head to bring her lips to his. His kiss was electrifying and the heat would flood her body in volcanic proportions. She could feel his breath warm on her cheek and his fingers softly stroking her skin. He had always spoken of wanting to orally ravish her and in her fantasies that is exactly what he did. Lips and tongue gliding over her body, sampling and tasting every inch of flesh as he removed her clothing to expose her fully to his gaze. Molten desire showed in his eyes and her hunger was reflected in his gaze. She could not contain her cries of pleasure as his mouth would capture first on nipple then the next, gently flicking them with his tongue in a manner he knew would arouse her the most. Watching his head descend between her thighs as she had in a hundred other dreams, her whole body clenches in anticipation of the pleasure he is fixing to give her.

The momentary pause when he is poise over her, gazing at her most intimate jewel, makes her heart swell with passion and desire. In an excruciating slow exploration he lets his tongue dip and stroke, parting her lips and brings her unimaginable pleasure. Teasing and tasting her, making her flow the elixir of love. Latching on to her erect clit with his lips and flicking it with his tongue until she burst forth into the most mind blowing orgasm she can ever remember experiencing. Then before she can even come down from her blissful heights, he raises her again by moving up her body and sliding his erect shaft into her wetness, joining them in a manner as old as time itself and just as meaningful. The stretching, the fullness, pressed heart to heart, lips to lips, sealing their love so passionately it brings tears to her eyes from the sheer beauty of the act. Each forward thrust a physical declaration of their mutual passion for each other. She knows they can reach no higher into the heavens when she feels him stiffen and thrust into her very core, bursting forth his life giving essence to mingle with her own, her inner walls convulsing around him squeezing every drop he has to share with her. Visions of the cottage flicker in the back of her imagination as he collapses on top of her, softly whispering her name and telling her, "I will always be there with you, I will never leave you. I promise" The warmth of the fire starts to fade as reality brings her back to her lonely bed and hopes for the future.

She had no trouble finding the cottage, it was just as he had described it too her. Facing the sea and standing like a sentinel against the harsh ocean weather. Excitement pounded in her chest at the thought of finally bringing fantasy into reality. She felt as if she had waited all her life for this moment and as she approached the cottage her pulse sped up and her breathing became rapid. She raps on the door and her breath catches in her chest, straining to hear movement from inside, signaling his coming to the door to let her in. Silence fills the atmosphere so thick she can feel it. Gently turning the handle she steps inside. Her first site is just as she expected from his stories of the place, but very quickly the signs of neglect become glaringly obvious. Stale air, a fine layer of dust, worn and ragged areas that spoke of and absence of occupancy. Not wanting to believe what her eyes are telling her, she continues to wander through the place. To the bedroom that has not been slept in for a very long time and up to the crows nest where he has spoke of making love to her. Looking out to sea she could feel the ghost of days gone past laughing at her for her foolish belief in something that was not and never could be real. Folding in on herself she falls to her knees and the scream of rage and pain lifts on the wind to echo out across the waves. Gut wrenching sobs tear forth from her body. The pain so intense she does not think she can survive. Darkness falls and still she remains, letting the tears flow in an ocean of despair. Her mind sinks deeper in the ever blackening comfort of oblivion.

She awakens to the sun shining in her face and reality pounding in her head. The tears almost start to flow again but strength and determination force them back down. On shaky legs she descends the stairs into the bedroom, looking at the unused bed and mentally locking the door to her heart and tossing the key on the bed, knowing it will never again be used to expose her to such pain. Spine stiff and teeth clenched she walks out of the cottage and into the real world. Accepting that the illusion of love will never be a part of the life she is destined to live.

02/12/02